'My befriender has taught me how to live again'

Loneliness among older people is especially poignant at Christmas - but in Wakefield a simple idea is changing lives. Age UK's befriending service has already supported more than 200 residents, yet dozens are still waiting for that friendly face to bring happiness and hope.

Life was unbearably sad for Jean Gowland who, in the space of a few years, had lost both her husband of 71 years Ralph and son Graham. Then through the scheme the 91-year-old was introduced to Amy Kilner - a 29-year-old fitness and music enthusiast.

With an age gap of more than 60 years, it is an unlikely friendship that Jean says has "taught me how to live again".

Amy pops in to see Jean at her home in Ackworth every week. In between eating mince pies and drinking tea, she stays a couple of hours - the time filled by their endless chatter.

"No topic is off limits. We talk about everything - Jean's family, my family, The Yorkshire Auctioneer on the TV, which Jean loves."

Although she works full time as an associate ambulance practitioner with the Yorkshire Ambulance Service, Amy finds the time to volunteer.

She says: "Through my job at work I was seeing a lot of old people struggle with loneliness and then I saw an advert for this and it really pulled at my heart strings.

"I always say if you've got time to sit and scroll on your phone, then why not find that hour to sit and have a chat.

"We're not doing anything difficult. You have conversations in your daily life and even better if you get to do it with someone like Jean who makes a good cup of tea."

With a large family including two grandchildren and seven great grandchildren, Jean is not short of close relatives to look out for her.

But with busy working lives, the days can be long and lonely and Jean says this became even harder when her son died a year ago.

"Before Amy I just wanted to die. I was so lonely.

"But I thought about my grandchildren and great grandchildren and they are so lovely."

She described how before the pair met, she did not expect them to get on because of the age difference.

"We hit off straight away. I tell her what to do. She had a boyfriend and I told her to get rid of him.

"My daughter-in-law tells me I shouldn't be interfering but I'm not, I'm just giving her advice."

Jean says their friendship has developed into a deep bond, adding: "It's as if she's been in my life forever."

For Amy, the relationship is equally profound and she treasures the wisdom and life lessons Jean has shared.

"She's given me so much good life advice, about men, about my new house, about decorating- Jean used to do all her own wallpapering so has lots of good tips.

"She's so amazing, she's strong, independent and deals with things head on. If I'm half the person she is when I'm older I'll be so chuffed."

Run by the Wakefield district branch of Age UK, there is a campaign to recruit more people to become befrienders like Amy.

Tracey Shaw, volunteering and befriending services manager, says there are currently 206 befriender relationships supported by the service but 92 people remain on the waiting list.

The service matches people together based on location, likes and dislikes and availability.

Tracey explains: "We don't expect our volunteers to sit there for hours on end, it's an hour a week to just come and meet someone new. We have seen some wonderful friendships blossom."

Ms Shaw says the need for volunteers is felt more keenly over Christmas.

"We've been working really hard at this time of year to get as many matches as possible.

"We're desperate to get people off the waiting list because no-one wants to spend the Christmas period alone."

Not far from Jean, in Pontefract, lives 97-year-old Noel Johnson, who after the death of his wife Maisie two year ago, was on Age UK's befriending list.

He recalls: "I took her to the Sycamore Gap tree in Northumberland and we put our arms around it and held hands. That's when I asked her to marry me."

They were married for 60 years and hardly spent a day apart so the impact of her death was profound and he became isolated.

Meanwhile, just 400 yards away, Stephen Lowe had watched a TV advert about the befriending scheme which featured an elderly man who had recently been widowed.

The 68-year-old reflects: "I said to my wife there could be someone like that round the corner from us, and here we are sat at home, life is great, but for them life might not be."

The retired West Yorkshire Police detective got in touch the with Wakefield branch. After striking up a friendship with another man who later died, Stephen was introduced to Noel.

He recalls: "When I first came Noel was terribly sad. He'd lost his Maisie and was in a very dark place.

"But I look at him now and yes of course he still misses her, but he's much brighter."

Stephen regularly visits Noel, often helping him out with hospital appointments and visits to the bank.

"This isn't a chore or something I feel I should do. Me and Noel are pals.

"I know as much about Noel's life as he does mine. We talk and share - about our grandchildren, about my time in the police.

"We have the same passion for World War Two, Winston Churchill and the RAF."

Noel, who served in the RAF when he was 18, says although he sees his two sons, Stephen has made "a massive difference" to his life and they have become each other's confidants.

He adds: "I tell him things I wouldn't tell anyone else.

"To be quite honest, I don't know what I'd do without him."

As Stephen reflects on his own experience, he urges others to consider becoming a befriender too.

"There could be somebody really close to you who's living alone and doesn't see another person from one week to the next and you could be the person to change that.

"It's absolutely magical - the difference you can make in someone else's life is immeasurable."

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